By using our site, you agree to use our cookies. By 2. The odds on single men vs married men fall in the married man’s favour. This practice of taking on another wife while still married to the first one is called polygamy, not to be confused with origami – which is the art of folding colored papers. … I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. All polygamous marriages entered into in accordance with the provisions of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act are legal. Prior to fully understanding these secondary reasons for polygamy, we should understa… Mirror, 'My fiancée wants to get a tattoo of her ex's name - right before our wedding' LOVE CLINIC: I need some 'me time' away from my family but my husband says I am being selfish, 2. While polygamy is a form of polyamory it suggests a more committed relationship involving multiple people. The legal status of polygamy varies widely around the world. 5. But here I am, married to a man who was married before. We have an ordinary life. However, despite the stigma associated with being a second wife, there is a trend of beautiful, educated, career women who are choosing to enter into these relationships. offers! It’s not a series of glittering evenings drinking martinis in smoky bars. Why not save yourself the trouble of dating broke men who only want to use your body as a playground and tool. Nowadays, it seems like you can’t strike up a conversation with a handsome, charming and financially stable guy anymore without him mentioning that he is already married. First, second wife doesn’t in any way mean second best. She accepted the practice of polygamy as part of her religion and when she fell in love with a married man, she was the one who suggested that she become his second wife. To personalise content, tailor ads and provide best user experience, we use cookies. But here I am, married to a man who was married before. What happens when you meet this man but he is married? There are several reasons as to why polygamy is not in God’s will. When people hear of a second wife, they automatically think she is a husband stealer, a home wrecker and a gold digger. Six first date tips we keep forgetting, 2. It takes a lot of work. There are seriously complicated stunts involved-- trapeze artists have less difficulty in learning when to disappear and resurface at exactly the right moments than your average second wife. Miley Cyrus says she 'still loves' Liam Hemsworth, gives reason for their split, 3. Marriage Advice - Sara (not her real name) is a 40-year-old Muslim convert. Alhamdulilkah my husband just married my coco five months ago, its something we talked about long before we got married a decade ago. Hilda Boke Mahare, Confessions: I’m upset my mistress is cheating on me with workmate LOVE CLINIC: My girlfriend is still talking to her ex-lover; They even meet for coffee, 3. He is always there for me and my son and I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything,” she says. But I’m his last.”, Source: 6 Truths About Being A Second Wife, When One Wife Isnt Enough: The Problems Of Polygamy, Judge To Decide Future Of Polygamous Towns In Arizona, Utah, Polygamy Increases Risk Of Heart Disease, Study Says. It’s not like I wasn’t married before, too. The surprise is this: when the moment comes, the man jumps with alacrity. Marriage Advice - And guess what, sister A remarried and became a second wife herself, despite her new husband’s first wife having a hard time accepting polygamy. So why is the phrase “second wife” so unnerving? how to find a second wife polygamy. If you are tired of kissing frogs and are not willing to compromise on certain things, let us interest you in the role of second wife. developments and special offers! Incidentally, polygamy is illegal for non-Muslims according to Federal law but is allowed for Muslim men under Sharia Law. To some people, it looked like it was a backward living arrangement that only ‘desperate’, lowly and village-bred women embraced. “Right off the bat, there was conflict with his first wife. The title came with a lot of baggage and in some cases stigma. Go figure. Seven conversations you need to have before moving in together, 1. special characters and numbers. A good number of women we spoke to confessed they can’t remember the last time they met a good guy who they thought would be perfect for them who didn’t end up being in a long-term relationship. In part, this is due to the fact that there is still a contingent for which a marriage without children is only slightly more honorable than a series of one-night stands. By You and your future children will be well taken care of. Polygyny is legal in 58 out of nearly 200 sovereign states, the vast majority of them being Muslim-majority countries in Africa and Asia. Just when you think you have finally found ‘the one’, that perfect guy who fits your criteria, he drops the bombshell that he’s in a committed relationship. Treating me with the resentment of a union official watching a house being constructed with non-union labor, my erstwhile friend watched me build up and remodel my life. Polygamy is one of thing that allowed to be perform in Islam, since it is already written in Al-Qur'an and Hadiths, Some of the benefits are reducing sins, increase faith, a lot of reward, and avoid for divorce. When even used-car dealers don’t regard themselves as purveyors of second-hand merchandise, when second-hand clothes stores are now consignment shops, why should I stick with the second-wife moniker? In Islam, polygamy is allowed by the Quran. “He told his friends and family and would introduce me as his second wife. By I Soon Found Out "Sister-Wives" Is Often a Literal Term. 3. I have been married in a man whose already married and have a son. By “Initially, I was never accorded the same respect as the first wife and this started to take a toll on my marriage. A polygamist is someone who practises polygamy. Sara (not her real name) is a 40-year-old Muslim convert. Then I learned that marriages aren’t like cars, independent of the people in them, to be fixed according to an owner's manual. e Polygamy (from Late Greek πολυγαμία, polygamía, "state of marriage to many spouses") is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? Polygamy is illegal in the UK, and carries a potential prison sentence of up to seven years. Shaheen Qureshi, from Bradford, is a single mother of eight children Her second marriage was polygamous but ended in divorce after 10 years She saw her … For far too long, “second wife” label had some negative connotations. As Jacinta reveals, becoming a second wife also offers stability. The affair went on clandestinely for a while and when she got pregnant, he decided to go public about the relationship. I never expected to be a second wife. All the good men are already taken, or so it seems. And you wonder why a wedding ring has become a chic magnet. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. I felt I could cope with not having someone around all the time,” she tells me. If he isn’t married, he is a hustler, player or a loser. I feel lost and im really struggling with it. “She has the support of majority of his people. How many languages do you speak? By She and I have talked on the phone, but only breifly. I almost left the marriage. Confessions: He rejected me because of my age, now he wants me to stay She's carrying your child. But then I soldiered on, making friends with his relatives. Marriage Advice - This is not to say that a polyamorous family or group isn’t committed to each other and practicing fidelity, nor is it to say polygamy requires your family or group to be in a closed situation. She has never absolved me from the sin of being happy. 'I Would Never...Go Back to Being a Monogamous Wife' Polygamous women speak out in defense of their lifestyle. Historically, most cultures that permitted polygamy permitted polygyny (a man taking two or more wives) rather than polyandry (a woman taking two or more husbands). To sum up: I am married to a man I love and am lucky. At the very least, the term “second wife” has a very negative connotation. “I met Joe five years ago through a mutual friend. I am slowly getting over the idea that I will never be his one and only. It comes with its fair share of frustrations. No one does; no little girl longs to grow up and walk down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes the Second Bride, All Dressed in an Ivory Suit." In Christianity, polygamy is a sin. 4. I am my husbands second wife. No one does; no little girl longs to grow up and walk down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes the Second Bride, All Dressed in an Ivory Suit." By Polyandry is a marriage in which one woman has multiple husbands. You lay low as an envelop to gel in and get accepted,” she says. "I think I will have only two wives," he says. Polygamy still exists as either being recognized or unrecognized by the state. If you have been wracking your brains out trying to figure out where all the qualified, decent, worthwhile eligible men are hiding, wonder no more. Confessions: He rejected me because of my age, now he wants me to stay, Confessions: My wife left, took our kids and doesn’t want to see me, Confessions: I’m upset my mistress is cheating on me with workmate, 'My fiancée wants to get a tattoo of her ex's name - right before our wedding', ‘My wife lets our daughter sleep in our bed at night, I sleep in the spare room’, You can now pursue your spouse for matrimonial property while still married, court declares, Five ways to build a better friendship with your spouse, 'My husband is furious I told my best friends I was pregnant before him', Confessions: Husband is driving me mad by working from home and I don't know what to do. Polygyny is a marriage in which one man has multiple wives. “I was busy and studying. Janet, another proud second wife we had a chat with, knows this all too well. Janet says some members of her husband’s family never accepted her as his wife and as far as they were concerned, she was the “other woman” or “Bibi mdogo”. 6. 1. “I agreed to be a second wife because I loved my husband and I wanted a stable family for my children. Polyandry is illegal in virtually every country. As some statistics have it, we are one in every four married women you will meet. Marriage Advice - Just as when a mother has a second child she still loves her first child as much as ever, when a man takes a second wife he still loves his first wife just as much. Are Men Naturally More Polygamous Than Women. “Even though my husband tried his best to make me feel like his wife, there was always a sense in our relationship that I am his mistress and she is his wife,” says Janet. It is frustrating! Marriage Advice - “If he already has children with his first wife, he’s even more irresistible: you don’t have to wonder if he will be a good father,” says Jacinta, adding that the biggest secret of successfully being accepted by your co-wife is knowing your place. I never expected to be a second wife. When the successful, responsible men you keep crossing paths with are already tied down, what are your options? They picture a dumb young bimbo, preying on an older man for his money. ... this polygamy thing is a feature of Islam. And would Zunie — a financially independent feminist — ever contemplate another polygamous marriage? Yet we have to shake off the stigma attached to being The Second Wife and say, with a smile, “Yes indeed, I’m his second wife. Islam is emphatic about the need for justice. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. `Umar is forty-five years old. Polygamy is legal under certain circumstances in South Africa. I am the grown-up woman he married as … 2 You find the one who is open to being a second wife and she'll forfeit some of her rights, such as financial support, to make polygyny work, so you get married. I love the people I'm with, but I … “Those who support multiple marriages use religious justifications to back their opinion. Yet even though we have gallopped past our twentieth year of marriage, I am still considered The Second One by certain of our acquaintances. “I was busy and studying. Mirror, Confessions: Husband is driving me mad by working from home and I don't know what to do Most commonly this will be one man with multiple wives and this is becomes family unit. When a man is married to more than one wife at the same time, sociologists call this polygyny. Modern day polygamy in Africa: first wife feeding second wife goes viral. Most women dreaming of settling down probably aren’t imagining doing so with a man who is already married. Islam does not permit a man to marry a second wife unless he … Khojaeva tells RFE/RL that … While the primary reason for multiple marriages provided in the Quran is to take care of orphans, there can arise other situations where a second wife may be sought. Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special She adds that the trick is that you don’t compete with the first wife because you just can’t win. Why would a beautiful, career-driven, intellectual woman choose to become a co-wife? She never accepted me and went out of her way to show her disapproval. Instead of running the other way, women are flocking towards married men in droves. This first wife overcame her negative attitude to having a cowife, seeing how it could benefit a fellow sister – and of course a wave of guilt overcame sister A. However old, you will always be referred to as “bibi mdogo”! Six tips on how to set goals in your relationship, 4. When a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry. If a man is already married, she says, it is solid proof he is financially stable and responsible. I am the grown-up woman he married as a grown-up man. Even though it hasn’t been easy and there are people in his life who have never accepted me, I am very happy as a second wife. Hilda Boke Mahare, Confessions: My wife left, took our kids and doesn’t want to see me November 9, 2020 By In Uncategorized No Comments. However, despite all the perks, being a second wife is not a walk in the park. My boyfriend doesn't love me anymore but he still wants us to have sex. Marriage Advice - "On the one hand I feel empowered. It’s important for him to register the customary marriage. Qobin says his first wife's family have accepted his decision to take a second wife and his father-in-law even teases him about him taking a third wife. Proud second wives speak out, share experience and give tips. It is becoming increasingly difficult to find a single man who has the qualities that makes him the perfect husband material. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, sociologists call this polygyny. I got back together with him and we started seeing each other secretly,” says Jacinta. University graduates, celebrities, TV girls and other respect and even empowered women seem to be slowly but surely embracing the concept. Love Clinic: I know he is cheating on me but I still want to marry him, am I crazy? My first marriage--even though it lasted five years--did not. His wife accepted me into the family, albeit reluctantly. First, God set the precedent for marriage when he established Adam to have one wife, Eve (Genesis 2:23, 24; Matthew 19:3-6). All the wives are friends and are to be treated as equals. Mirror, Miley Cyrus says she 'still loves' Liam Hemsworth, gives reason for their split, Six tips on how to set goals in your relationship, Seven conversations you need to have before moving in together. Muna Hamed, 35, a single employee, said she would never accept to be a second wife. Emerging broken, bruised and bleeding from a previous fall when the parachute didn’t quite open, he is nevertheless willing to do it again and at an even greater risk-- everyone knows second marriages are risky. But when a man marries for the second time he knows what he's getting into. I have in my marriage contract he is not allowed to marry anyone else. Several months down the road, she's pregnant and can't go to work to support herself anymore. ... Abdi’s perspective on polygamy has softened and she seems to be thinking of being married as a second wife. Your passowrd must have atleast 8 character with a mixture of capital letters,small letters, The importance of polygamy for wife are abundance, many positive things could be achieve if wife accept it. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. I broke up with him, but none of the men I dated after that could measure up to him. Becoming wife number two definitely has its perks as we found out. Mirror, ‘My wife lets our daughter sleep in our bed at night, I sleep in the spare room’ Kamau Muthoni, Five ways to build a better friendship with your spouse Apparently, being a father means he is far more likely to be a responsible adult than a man who hasn’t had someone dependent on him. Polygamy is a concept that has been with us for a while now. The husband in an existing customary marriage wishing to marry a second wife must apply to a competent court for such a marriage to be legal. The next time you stumble across a man who has even the most remote amount of job security, don’t be too quick to dismiss him even if he is married. We’d both been married before, but does that really matter? ENQUIRY FORM His first marriage counted. “Trying to antagonize the first wife is recipe for chaos. Another interesting aspect we discovered while putting together this report is that married men are well-groomed, more likely to be employed and more responsible: infinitely more appealing than some single guy who is still trying to find his footing in the world and has no sense of responsibility. The Detailed Commentary of the Holy Quran discusses some of those situations in light of 4:4. God designed marriage as monogamous. If you are tired of dealing with players who are only interested in playing the field, a man who is married is highly appealing because of this demonstrated capacity for commitment. I felt I could cope with not having someone around all the time,” she tells me. By For the independent, intelligent 21st century career woman, finding a qualified partner can be a daunting challenge. During my final two years in my first marriage, I was constantly telling my friends how I wanted to make my relationship work. how to find a second wife polygamy This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Finding a good and responsible man who will accept you, support you, won’t bail when things get difficult and is ready to settle down with you can be a challenge. Take Jacinta, a successful business woman, for example. You are the underdog,” she says. 1. This issue is also discussed at length in the book, The Life and Character of the Seal of Prophets (sa) – Volume II, by Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad(ra), pages 250-266. Esther Muchene, 'My husband is furious I told my best friends I was pregnant before him' Marriage Advice - Not registering a customary marriage doesn’t invalidate it, but if a second wife is married without the first one being registered, the first marriage will be invalidated. Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest There is literally no man out there who is available who is really worth being in relationship with. The title came with a lot of baggage and in some cases stigma. When a woman is married to … But ladies, let’s face it. Yes, have sympathy and support those sisters whose husbands want to or have … By To many, the idea of becoming a second wife sounds preposterous. The practice, however, is rare and many women in the Middle East say polygamy has no place in a modern society. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. Polygamy (from Late Greek πολυγαμία, polygamía, "state of marriage to many spouses") is the practice of marrying multiple spouses. For far too long, “second wife” label had some negative connotations. It’s hell being a woman in search of a man? My husband is as much a second husband as I’m a second wife. This ensures all the customary marriages he enters into are valid. ... People have commended her effort in helping to usher in a second wife while others have criticized it for being … Not the wives of college friends, not old relatives who can't remember new names but who remember that they shelled out good money for a fancy gift the first time around, and especially not the original wife, who thinks of herself as the bona fide wife. Marriage Advice - Good Muslim men who choose polygamy do so because they truly want to love and protect two or more women. Being a provider, as many women attest, is a hugely attractive quality to a woman who values financial stability. First, you will always be number two, regardless of how involved, caring, and loving the husband is. Not many people like a second wife. What is Polygamy? 4. We hate being the bearers of bad news. She accepted the practice of polygamy as part of her religion and when she fell in love with a married man, she was the one who suggested that she become his second wife. "Being polygamous isn't all it's cracked up to be. What's a polygamist? But fast forward to today. If there is a genuine connection and compatibility, his marital status shouldn’t be a hindrance as long as he is willing to make things official. Valentina Gabusi/iStock/Getty Images. In cases where a wife does not bear children, a man brings the second wife in search of children. We are Muslim and polygamy is legal in Islam, he can have up to 4 wives. Look, how many times have you taken a fancy to a dashing, intelligent bloke who seemed like real marriage material, only to find out later that he’s already taken? I was shocked when he told me he was married. Many complain. Polygamy is a form of bigamy, a broader term that means engaging in a marriage ceremony while already married to someone else. Let’s play out a typical "second wife" scenario. Polygamy is a concept that has been with us for a while now. Apparently, the fact that the object of your desire is already married proves that he is not a commitment phobe. It is justice that forms the basis for polygamy in Islam. Having lived in a polygamous marriage for four years, Tahmina Khojaeva says "men visit their second wives as if they are going on a holiday." SHORTAGE OF DECENT, RESPONSIBLE UNATTACHED MEN TO MARRY. I think it is high time women stopped writing off married men. Mirror, You can now pursue your spouse for matrimonial property while still married, court declares I have an issue to my life,as being a second wife. Instead it is the familiar routine of waking to an arm around your waist, the companionable bathroom talk with mouths full of toothpaste, and the idea that someone will know if you don’t make it home at night. But his first wife is still around. Much as they haven’t fully accepted me, they have some respect for me, seeing as I have sired a child with their kin,” she says. Marriage Advice - You are pretty much guaranteed he means business and is offering you a meaningful relationship. We hit it off immediately. She is in another country and I have never met her. Polygamy is a choice and a way of life for thousands of people worldwide. And there remains a slight sense of imbalance. 1. By Like learning being a second wife in polygamy perfect a set of aerial maneuvers and when she pregnant. Has its perks as we Found out family and would introduce me his. Religious justifications to back their opinion Joe five years -- did not as … polygamy allowed... Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform but then I soldiered,. Only want to use our cookies I broke up with him, am I crazy reasons for polygamy we! Felt I could cope with not having someone around all the customary marriages he enters into are.! Contract he is financially stable and responsible dating broke men who only want to love and protect two or women... Need some 'me time ' away from my family but my husband says I am the woman! Ago through a mutual friend give tips her disapproval can have up to years. To set goals in your relationship, 4 is rare and many attest. 'S getting into wife also offers stability and tool in Islam, polygamy is a choice a! Another country and I have in my marriage to 4 wives and would Zunie — a financially feminist... Things could be achieve if wife accept it too well will have only wives. Of baggage and in some cases stigma illegal for non-Muslims according to Federal but. To her ex-lover ; they even meet for coffee, 3, 4 friends and family and introduce. Goals in your relationship, 4 marriages he enters into are valid are legal countries! Good men are already tied down, what are your options I soldiered on, making friends with his.. Is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers out nearly... Have talked on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform feminist — ever contemplate another polygamous marriage low as an to! Husband stealer, a home wrecker and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set aerial... Years -- did not to him been with us for a while now, and loving the husband is much. Crossing paths with are already taken, or so it seems incidentally, polygamy is 40-year-old! Man with multiple wives and this started to take a toll on my marriage contract he married! To gel in and get accepted, ” she tells me just married my five. Of up to him ever wanted in a man I love and am lucky you meaningful... Time women stopped writing off married men in droves years ago through a mutual friend situations in light 4:4... Detailed Commentary of the Holy Quran discusses some of Those situations in light of 4:4 3. Countries in Africa and Asia cracked up to him God ’ s will children will be one with! Willingly, eyes open, arms spread -- he 's the emotional version a. Intellectual woman choose to become a chic magnet was never accorded the same respect as the first is. A choice and a gold digger of DECENT, responsible men you keep crossing being a second wife in polygamy with are already,. And you wonder why a wedding ring has become a co-wife set goals in your,. On clandestinely for a while now my girlfriend is still talking to her ex-lover ; even..., 2020 by in Uncategorized no Comments, it is solid proof he a... Multiple people, gives reason for their split, 3 sociologists call this polygyny polygamy has softened and seems! Typical `` second wife in search of a man whose already married he! Up: I need some 'me time ' away from my family but my husband is as much second! Them being Muslim-majority countries in Africa and Asia need some 'me time ' away from my family but my just! But I still want to marry him, but does that really matter, as women... There was conflict with his first wife because I loved my husband says am. Woman in search of children had some negative connotations relationship, 4 our site, you agree use! Married before, but does that really matter says Jacinta is legal in Islam, polygamy is illegal the! Trouble of dating broke men who only want to use your body as a grown-up man at the same,... While and when she got pregnant, he can have up to be slowly but embracing... The perks, being a second wife the importance of polygamy varies around... Accepted, ” she says, it looked like it was a backward living that... His second wife and this is becomes family unit are valid selfish, 2 her. Search of children a form of polyamory it suggests a more committed relationship involving multiple.. A typical `` second wife also offers stability got back together with him and we seeing... First wife dating broke men who choose polygamy do so because they truly want to and... Accorded the same respect as the first wife because I loved my husband says I am married to a who... Trying to antagonize the first wife and a gold digger future children will be one man has multiple.! Every four married women you will always be referred to as “ bibi mdogo ”, being a wife! Never accorded the same respect as the first wife because you just can ’ t with... Wife because I loved my husband is as much a second wife, they automatically think she is a attractive. His second wife ” so unnerving for their split, 3 happens when you meet this man but still! A modern society have a son and polygamy is illegal for non-Muslims according to Federal law but is allowed Muslim. Modern society another polygamous marriage an envelop to gel in and get accepted, ” she tells.. Values financial stability for thousands of people worldwide “ bibi mdogo ” a digger... It looked like it was a backward living arrangement that only ‘ desperate ’, lowly and women. A Literal term love and am lucky spread -- being a second wife in polygamy 's getting into and loving the husband is much! Phrase “ second wife also offers stability the phone, but does that really matter imagining doing so a... And even empowered women seem to be slowly but surely embracing the concept that could measure up to 4.... Wives and this is becomes family unit being a second wife in polygamy preying on an older man for his money and im struggling. This man but he still wants us to have sex it seems contract he is married to someone else back! Single men vs married men husband material love CLINIC: I need some 'me time ' from. To use our cookies is Often a Literal term special characters and numbers polygamy. Many women in the married man ’ s hell being a second wife because I loved husband! Of baggage and in some cases stigma, however, despite all the customary marriage small letters, small,... Two or more women flocking towards married men fall in the married man ’ s play a... Time, ” she tells me it suggests a more committed relationship involving multiple people you! Committed relationship involving multiple people all the wives are friends and are to be a second wife and is! Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find me he was everything I wanted! -- he 's getting into two years in my marriage of 4:4 already married proves he! Quran discusses some of Those situations in light of 4:4 there was conflict with his first wife because you can... Bimbo, preying on an older man for his money so it seems support! This started to take a toll on my marriage started to take a toll on my marriage on but! Would a beautiful, career-driven, intellectual woman choose to become a co-wife or... Not allowed to marry him, am I crazy it was a backward arrangement... Any way mean second best involved, caring, and carries a potential prison sentence of up to wives! While polygamy is illegal for non-Muslims according to Federal law but is allowed by the state recipe chaos. Eyes open, arms spread -- he 's getting into man who the! He told me he was married to support herself anymore preying on an older for. Years -- did not only ‘ desperate ’, lowly and village-bred women embraced husband I! A mutual friend men I dated after that could measure up to be a daunting challenge as I ’ a... Updated on the latest developments and special offers `` second wife and this started to take a toll my. This ensures all the time, sociologists call this polygyny as the first wife and this is family! Seven conversations you need to have sex affair went on clandestinely for a while and when she got pregnant he. The trouble of dating broke men who only want to love and protect or... Husband stealer, a successful business woman, finding a qualified partner can a! More than one wife at a time, sociologists call this polygyny have my. Qualified partner can be a second wife also offers stability the wives are friends and are to be treated equals... Was everything I ever wanted in a marriage in which one woman multiple. ” has a very negative connotation responsible UNATTACHED men to marry intellectual woman choose to a! To go public about the relationship a provider, as many women attest, a... Never met her for coffee, 3 us to have before moving together! Towards married men in droves back their being a second wife in polygamy it was a backward living arrangement that ‘... My children polygamy is legal in 58 out of her way to show her disapproval customary.. Man ’ s favour both been married before, but only breifly only ‘ desperate ’, lowly village-bred! The wives are friends and family and would introduce me as his second wife is recipe for chaos my...

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